ST. AUGUSTINE, FL — The Galimore Community Pool is reportedly flinging open its gates for the “2026” summer swimming season, according to official reports. While we’re all still navigating what feels like an eternal 2024, it appears city officials are already living in the future, or perhaps just having a quiet laugh at our expense regarding a minor, yet perfectly Florida-Man-esque, typo.

Beginning Wednesday, May 20, the pool will welcome the sun-baked masses from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. On Saturdays, for those who value their weekend sleep, it’s a slightly earlier 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Naturally, because nothing in civic life can ever be straightforward, the hours will “vary by day of the week.” We assume this means you'll need the cunning of a seasoned treasure hunter and a reliable internet connection (www.CityStAug.com/pool, for the brave) to figure out when exactly you can get your chlorine fix.

The city assures us that the swim schedules will cater to all aquatic aspirants, including dedicated lap swimmers, energetic teens (God help us all), serene seniors, and the ever-present 'family swim' brigade. Daily admission will run you $3.00 if you’re an adult with the audacity to still pay for things, while anyone under 18 or gracefully over 60 can snag entry for a mere $2.00. Frankly, for the entertainment value of watching someone try to navigate a public pool's rules, it's a steal.

Annual summer passes, for the truly committed, will be up for grabs on May 20th. Adults can fork over $40.00, while the under-18 crowd and the over-60 wisdom-keepers get a discount at $25. For the truly ambitious (or just very large) families, a pass covering up to six people rolls in at $150.00. Just imagine the sheer organizational prowess required to wrangle six people, their towels, and their snacks into a public pool on a regular basis. You deserve that pass, and probably a medal.

Now, for the payment method, which is where things get truly exciting: cash or check. That's right, folks, in the year of our Lord (even if it's hypothetically 2026), the City of St. Augustine is still operating on a system that predates the internet, online banking, and probably the invention of pants. Guests are advised to bring cash, a check, or someone old enough to explain both.

Yes, Galimore Pool is affordable, family-friendly, and genuinely useful. But the payment system appears to have been designed during a time when people still printed MapQuest directions and trusted voicemail.

Still, $3 for adults and $2 for kids and seniors is hard to argue with. In a town where leaving the house can somehow cost $47 before lunch, that’s basically a public miracle with chlorine.

So bring a towel, sunscreen, and physical money like a responsible ancestor.

At publishing time, several parents were reportedly searching junk drawers for a checkbook last seen during the Obama administration.