Satirical ai generated image of a pelican in a hard hat looking out over a crazy roundabout.
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THE ROAR · SATIRE

St. Johns County Approves New Roundabout Designed By Pelican With Inner Ear Problem

Officials praised the design for combining modern traffic planning with the navigational instincts of a concussed seabird.

By The Local Lion Newsroom··St. Augustine

ST. JOHNS COUNTY, FL — County officials have approved a new roundabout reportedly designed by a pelican with an inner ear problem, calling the plan “innovative,” “coastal,” and “close enough to engineering.”

The design features several curved lanes, multiple arrows pointing toward personal growth, and one exit that appears to be more of a suggestion.

Officials said the pelican’s proposal stood out for its “natural understanding of circular motion,” despite the bird having recently flown into a dock piling and blamed the wind.

“This isn’t just a roundabout,” one engineer said. “It’s a transportation experience. Drivers will enter with confidence and leave with a deeper respect for paint.”

Residents are encouraged to approach the intersection slowly, yield often, and avoid asking why the center island appears to be shaped like a fish.

Construction is expected to begin once the pelican finishes pecking revisions into the blueprint.

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