ST. AUGUSTINE, FL — After years of relying on apparitions, tragic backstories, and dimly lit cemetery lore, one local ghost tour has announced a major update to its route after concluding that actual ghosts “just aren’t doing it anymore.”

Beginning this week, the tour’s newest featured scare is a living landlord carrying a lease renewal.

According to operators, the decision came after several disappointing nights in which guests remained largely unfazed by tales of haunted boarding houses, unexplained footsteps, cold spots, and a child spirit reportedly seen near one of the city’s older properties. But the moment a man in a blazer stepped out from behind a historic wall and calmly said, “Just a few updates to your monthly rate,” the entire group reportedly screamed and scattered into the street.

“We had one woman make it through every stop without blinking,” said one tour guide. “She listened to a full story about a headless soldier, a widow in black, and a man who still haunts the old jail. Nothing. But when our landlord character handed her a lease renewal and said the pet fee was now separate, she nearly climbed onto a passing trolley.”

The new addition is being described as an “immersive realism segment” designed to connect ancient city hauntings with the type of fear modern audiences actually understand. While the ghost portions of the tour will remain, guides say the landlord scare gives the experience a more immediate emotional punch.

“Ghosts are fine,” said one recent guest, still visibly shaken. “A ghost can only follow you for so long. A landlord can follow you for 12 months with an option to renew.”

Witnesses say the stunt begins innocently enough. Guests are led down a quiet historic stretch while hearing about the city’s haunted past. Then, without warning, two or three sharply dressed men emerge from the darkness holding papers labeled LEASE RENEWAL and begin shouting phrases like “market conditions,” “updated terms,” and “non-refundable administrative fee.”

That, according to multiple attendees, is when the panic starts.

“I was okay when they mentioned spirits,” said one tourist. “I was okay when they mentioned curses. I was even okay when they said one of the buildings might still be occupied by the dead. But then this guy leaned in and whispered, ‘We’ve also adjusted parking,’ and I genuinely blacked out.”

Local residents, meanwhile, said the new feature may be the most accurate thing any St. Augustine tour has ever produced.

“Finally, a haunting people can relate to,” said one downtown local. “Anybody can tell a spooky story about someone from 1783. It takes real nerve to jump out at people with a lease renewal in this economy.”

Tour organizers say they considered several options before landing on the landlord concept, including a surprise insurance premium increase, a man explaining HOA rules, and a woman from out of town saying she’s “thinking about buying an investment property here because it’s just so cute.” In testing, however, the lease renewal consistently delivered the strongest response.

“We’re not trying to be too intense,” one guide explained. “This is still a family-friendly experience. The landlord only says ‘market rate’ once, and we do not currently allow him to mention first, last, and security unless the group is 18 and up.”

Despite early concerns, reviews of the updated tour have been overwhelmingly positive, with guests praising its “authentic terror,” “timely social commentary,” and “the first jump scare that felt legally binding.”

At press time, operators confirmed they are already developing an even more extreme premium version of the tour in which the landlord quietly asks guests if they’ve considered signing a longer-term lease “to lock something in before it goes even higher.”