ST. AUGUSTINE, FL — St. Johns County has officially entered its Poop Sludge Era.

The June 2 Board of County Commissioners meeting reached Agenda Item 4, an unsolicited proposal from Merrell Bros. to design, build, and operate a biosolids facility for the county. In normal human language, the county is trying to figure out what to do with leftover material from wastewater treatment, because apparently thousands of new rooftops eventually become thousands of new flushes.

The presentation framed the issue as a three-headed sludge dragon: odor complaints near the existing Indianhead operation, short-term disposal contracts, and a tightening statewide biosolids market. Florida, it turns out, is not simply a magical sandbar where poop disappears into palm trees and positive thinking.

Merrell Bros. pitched an enclosed facility using solar-assisted drying, odor control, and pasteurization. At one point, the process was compared to a “big pizza oven,” which is helpful if you enjoy never looking at pizza ovens the same way again.

The proposed facility would be county-owned, operated by Merrell Bros., and designed to handle future county growth plus other utilities already operating inside St. Johns County. According to the presentation, the county would eventually use most of the facility’s capacity as wastewater volume grows.

Then came the math portion, where democracy put on reading glasses and started sweating.

Commissioner Sarah Arnold Taylor questioned why the county’s current biosolids production appeared far lower than the facility’s proposed capacity. She also flagged a much larger issue: the proposal referenced a roughly $34.6 million cost, while another engineering estimate appeared closer to $54 million.

That is not a rounding error. That is an entire second building hiding inside the first building.

Taylor also raised questions about land costs, future regulations, maintenance, potential retrofit expenses, and contract language she said appeared to waive the county’s sovereign immunity defenses. County staff said they would need to review that language further.

Then, because this is St. Johns County and no public meeting may remain normal for more than eight consecutive minutes, the discussion entered its Facebook graphics era.

Commissioner Christian Whitehurst brought up images being shared online about the proposal, including what appeared to be an AI-style toilet disaster graphic. Merrell Bros. pushed back, saying the project was not a pipeline for Miami, Orlando, or Tampa sludge, and that the facility would not discharge water out into the county.

The company eventually stepped back from the political side of the debate with the energy of a contractor who came to discuss machinery and accidentally walked into a family argument.

Whitehurst defended the proposal as a local solution to a local problem, saying St. Johns County produces biosolids and needs to take responsibility for them. Then he accidentally gave the entire meeting its pull quote: “We are pooh-poohing this for some reason. Pardon the pun. I didn’t even think about that.”

Public comment did not make things less weird.

Residents questioned the cost, the timing, the lack of private briefings, the possibility of outside material, the long-term financial exposure, the odor complaints, and whether the county was moving too quickly on a project that might cost somewhere between expensive and extremely expensive.

Staff clarified that accepting the unsolicited proposal would not mean approving a final contract with Merrell Bros. Instead, it would move the idea into the next step of the public process, including the possibility of seeking competing proposals.

So no, the county did not final-approve the poop sludge palace.

But the door is open. The wet tons are real. The agenda packet has spoken.

Welcome to the Poop Sludge Era.