ST. JOHNS COUNTY, FL — St. Johns County is giving residents a rare legal opportunity to destroy the paper trail this Saturday, and frankly, some of us have been waiting years for this.

The county is hosting a free shredding event on Saturday, May 16, from 9 a.m. to noon at the Ponte Vedra Beach Branch Library, located at 101 Library Blvd. Residents are invited to bring old paperwork, bills, personal documents, and confidential records to be safely shredded on-site.

Accepted items include personal documents, white or colored paper, stapled or paper-clipped documents, file folders, and file hangers. Not accepted: three-ring binders, cardboard, and commercial items.

In other words, bring the suspicious drawer. Leave the office supply aisle.

The event is for St. Johns County residents only and will happen rain or shine, because nothing says “Florida civic responsibility” quite like shredding your old insurance papers under a sky that may or may not be plotting.

County officials say the event is a simple, secure way to clear clutter, protect your identity, and help the planet. That is a noble cause, especially for anyone currently living with a stack of old bank statements that has started to feel load-bearing.

For questions, residents can contact FCC Environmental Services at (904) 750-4066.

At publishing time, several residents were reportedly preparing to confront the one drawer in their house that has been quietly collecting receipts, expired warranties, and emotional damage since the Obama administration.