ST. AUGUSTINE, FL — A local Facebook post asking where to find tiny squishy “dumplings” has quickly become less of a question and more of a community emergency response system.

The post, which began with one parent asking, “Where are they selling the dumplings at?” immediately drew reports from across St. Augustine and surrounding areas.

For those fortunate enough to not know what any of this means, the dumplings are small squishy toys that look like tiny dumplings and usually come in little cases.

Children collect them. Parents hunt them. Stores run out of them. Other children apparently inspect them for authenticity with the cold precision of a jeweler looking at a diamond.

One parent said their child did not care what brand the dumpling was until another child at school informed him it was fake.

That is where we are now.

According to commenters, local dumpling sightings or related squishy toy leads have been mentioned at Hallmark on the island, Sam’s Corner Market on Masters, Buddy Boys, Buddy Boys Country Store, Buddy Boys off 13, Ready Set Play, the Alligator Farm gift shop, Gifted Boutique in Ponte Vedra, Buy The Book, Walmart, 7-Eleven at World Golf and 16, Press Play Media – Video Games and Consoles, Five Below, Dollar Tree, The Panama Hat Company of St. Augustine, Circle K, Ocean Breeze, and Island Beach Wear.

The search has also reportedly expanded outside the immediate St. Augustine area, with commenters mentioning:

Snooty Fox in Middleburg, Walmart in Palatka, Kim’s Supply House in Palatka, Alvin’s Island, Palmetto Moon at Jax Town Center, Toy Palace at The Avenues Mall

In other words, the dumplings have gone regional.

The most useful piece of intelligence in the thread came from one commenter who said Five Below may be best checked on Tuesday mornings, while Dollar Tree may be worth checking around Wednesday delivery days.

That means parents are no longer just buying toys.

They are tracking freight.

A normal person might see a small squishy dumpling and think, “That is a toy.”

A St. Augustine parent now sees inventory cycles, pallet movement, gas station leads, out-of-county sourcing, gift shop availability, and the very real possibility of their child being socially destroyed at school by a fake bao bun.

There is also, apparently, an authenticity problem.

One commenter said RMS dumplings are the only “authentic” ones and advised parents to check the bottom of the case for the trademark.

This means the local dumpling economy has already reached the luxury handbag phase.

Several commenters urged people to call ahead before driving to certain stores, because inventory can disappear quickly. Others casually mentioned spotting dumplings at places like the Alligator Farm gift shop and Circle K, proving once again that St. Augustine commerce is just a treasure hunt with worse parking.

As of this writing, there is no official dumpling map.

That may change by sundown.

Until then, parents are advised to check Hallmark, Five Below, Buddy Boys, the Alligator Farm gift shop, 7-Eleven, Walmart, local gift shops, and possibly the bottom of the case before sending their child into school with a counterfeit dumpling.

The Local Lion has not independently verified current dumpling inventory at any of the above locations, because by the time we did, they would probably be gone anyway.

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