The Roar Report · Free
The county gets weirder every week. We take notes.
The four weirdest real things that happened in St. Johns County this week, written the way we see them — plus one chance to prove you’re funnier than us. Every Friday.
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Free. Every Friday. No spam. No PR.
What's inside
Four reasons to open your email Friday.
This week in St. Johns County
The four weirdest real things that happened here.
Real local stories – votes, openings, closings, and whatever the county did this time – told the way The Local Lion sees them.
Real facts, our jokes
The story is real. The jokes are ours.
Every story comes with the actual facts and a source link, so you always know what happened versus what we’re making fun of.
Quick hit
Short, weird, and over before your coffee.
A 100-word palate cleanser. Some weeks there’s also a farewell to something the county lost, or a made-up special when we have one worth writing.
Finish the headline
Think you’re funnier than us?
Every week we give readers an unfinished Local Lion headline. You give us the punchline. Best answer gets featured in the next issue.
A typical Friday
This is what lands in your inbox.
The Roar Report
Friday. St. Johns County. Still like this.
This week in St. Johns County
County Approves Another Traffic Study To Find Out Why Traffic Is So Bad
Real satire
The underlying story is real. The jokes are ours.
Story 2
Beachgoers Stunned To Learn The Parking Rules Changed Again
Story 3
Local Chicken Crosses A1A, Declines To Explain Why
Finish the headline
“St. Johns County Resident Discovers ________”
Submit your best answer. We’ll publish our favorite next Friday.
Quick hit
100 words. One weird thing. Back to your Friday.
Every story is real. Every joke is ours.
Who it's for
People who actually live here.
If you know St. Johns County well enough to understand why half our headlines could be real, you’ll probably fit in.
Questions
The short answers.
- How often does it come?
- Once a week. Friday morning. That’s it.
- What does it cost?
- Nothing. It’s free.
- Is everything satire?
- No. Every story is real, with the facts and sources included – we just write it with a satirical tone. If we ever run a completely made-up special, it’s clearly labeled.
- Will you sell my email?
- No. We don’t sell, rent, trade, barter, or accidentally rezone your email address.
- How do I unsubscribe?
- One click at the bottom of any issue. No guilt trip.
The Roar Report
The county gets weirder every week. We take notes.
Get the stuff we don’t post anywhere else, delivered every Friday.
Free. Unsubscribe anytime. Already a member?