ST. AUGUSTINE, FL — A parking lot near Epic Theaters and Planet Fitness has become the latest St. Augustine property to achieve what planners call “community engagement” and what residents call “why is there a tow truck watching me do squats?”

A recent post in the St. Augustine News Facebook group asked what was happening with the Epic movie theater parking situation after signs appeared warning against Planet Fitness parking. Photos showed blocked-off areas, tow trucks, and signs that seemed to suggest the parking lot had entered its border-control era.

Residents immediately began debating who owns the lot, who should be allowed to park there, whether Planet Fitness has enough parking for its members, and whether the whole thing is a property-rights issue, a business dispute, or simply another chapter in St. Augustine’s ongoing war against available spaces.

Several commenters said cars had already been towed. One person claimed multiple cars were towed in an afternoon, while another said the lot had signs warning that violators would be towed. Others argued the property owner has every right to protect parking for theater customers.

Then came the deeper lore.

Some residents claimed the issue may be tied to Planet Fitness customers using nearby spaces, while others said the lot had also become a place where people in vans or campers were parking for long stretches to use gym facilities. One commenter said the lot had looked like a “full on campground” before the gates and signs went up.

Naturally, the comment section did what local comment sections do best: turn one parking dispute into a public hearing, courtroom drama, zoning seminar, boycott campaign, and group therapy session with emojis.

Some blamed Epic. Some blamed Planet Fitness. Some blamed overdevelopment. Some blamed the county. Others simply noted that St. Augustine parking in general is, to use the technical term, a mess. One commenter summed it up by saying they had circled Planet Fitness several times and left without working out, which means the parking lot technically provided cardio anyway.

The larger issue is familiar. St. Augustine keeps adding businesses, gyms, restaurants, shops, churches, theaters, and traffic, while the available parking appears to be planned using the same math normally reserved for carnival games.

For now, residents heading to the area should read the signs carefully, park where allowed, and assume every open space has a backstory, an owner, and possibly a tow truck waiting in a bush.

At publishing time, the parking lot had not issued an official statement, though several residents reported it was already acting like it owned the place.