St. Johns County · Florida
St. Augustine news with a bite.
The nation's oldest city — and our home base. Watchdog reporting on city hall, traffic, restaurants, and the absurdity of life in St. Augustine.
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Latest in St. Augustine (22)
- St. Johns County Deploys Shuttles: Your Annual Reminder That Parking Close to the Beach is For Suckers
St. Johns County insists its "free" Memorial Day beach shuttles will reduce congestion, which is code for "we can't fix the parking, so here's a bus for your troubles."
- St. Johns County Commissioners Declare Holy War on Hastings Pizza Joint, Block Beer and Wine Sales Just 25 Feet From Salvation
Local pizza joint’s bid for beer and wine with meals shot down after church members in red cite threats to “youth programs” and “counseling ministries” from 25 feet away.
- St. Johns Cyclists Celebrate Bike To Work Day By Still Being Alive Five Days Later
Bike To Work Day was meant to promote healthier commutes. In St. Johns County, it mostly reminded cyclists that a painted white line is not the same thing as a survival plan.
- Horse Carriage Reform Stalls Until Someone Checks With The Horse Godfather
A St. Johns County public commenter argued that downtown horse carriage concerns keep running into the same unnamed local power figure, officially moving the issue from animal welfare debate to full St. Augustine lore.
- Ironman Traffic Disaster Inspires County To Consider Telling People Next Time
After an international triathlon turned parts of St. Johns County into a low-speed escape room, officials say future events may include revolutionary planning tools like signs, social media posts, and warning people before they accidentally enter cardio jail.
- IRONMAN Traffic Disaster Inspires County To Explore Exciting New Ways To Block Vilano
Just days after residents melted down over Ironman traffic, tomorrow’s county agenda includes two more triathlon events at Vilano Beach, because apparently cones are a lifestyle now.
- Facebook Sleuths Narrow It Down To Either "Illegal Dumping" Or "Literally How Roads Are Made"
A blurry truck photo near Alt 210 sent St. Augustine Facebook into full detective mode, with residents split between “illegal dumping” and “basic construction.”
- County Still Searching For Whoever Said Yes To IRONMAN
After three hours in traffic, Commissioner Krista Joseph joined residents in asking the obvious question.
- Vilano Residents Brace For Devastating Possibility Of Another Place To Eat Outside
A proposed family-friendly restaurant in Vilano has drawn mixed reactions online, with supporters welcoming the idea and critics raising concerns about traffic, parking, and the sacred coastal tradition of not changing anything.
- St. Augustine Launches Downtown Parking App That Says “Good Luck”
The city’s newest digital parking solution promises real-time confusion, emotional damage, and a clean interface featuring one large button labeled “figure it out.”
- Carl the Loggerhead: "I'm Laying Eggs, Not Performing at EDC" -- Blasts Beach Party Tourists
Local Loggerhead 'Carl' gives a no-holds-barred interview, praising one county project while lamenting the 'Spring Break crime scene' tourists leave on St. Johns County beaches during nesting season.
- City Built Over Farmland; Now Nature's Sending a 400-Pound, Snout-Driven Invoice to World Golf Village
Manicured lawns in a St. Augustine golf community are getting a pre-Columbian makeover, courtesy of two adult pigs and a dozen-plus piglets.
- Army Corps Determines St. Augustine Unsavable From Flooding, Proposes St. George Street Lazy River
After years of studying how to protect St. Augustine from future flooding, the Army Corps’ official recommendation came back as the most terrifying government phrase imaginable: no action.
- County May Let Airbnb Collect Taxes, But Not Tell Anyone Who Paid
A proposed platform agreement could simplify bed tax collection, but officials warned it may also erase the details needed to enforce who actually paid.
- St. Johns County Approves Rum Project After Applicant Explains Vanilla So Hard The Meeting Briefly Became A Nature Documentary
The Deerpark Garden proposal includes a distillery, restaurant, gardens, tasting room, and enough vanilla backstory to make a zoning hearing smell faintly like crème brûlée.
- National Park Service Discovers “First Amendment Area” Is A Weird Thing To Say On Public Land
A federal citation issued during a St. Augustine protest has been dismissed after officials suggested free speech needed its own designated spot, apparently forgetting what country we're in.
- Local Man Buys Adventure Landing Conquistador, Claims It Will “Tie The Garage Together”
“Hear me out,” said a local man, shortly before being called to account for his life choices after returning home from the Adventure Landing auction with a fiberglass conquistador, two arcade stools, and a completely new level of marital tension he insists is “for nostalgia.”
- This Weekend: Vampire Raves, Cannons, Farmers Markets, And A Little Bit Of Everything
From Broadway favorites and dueling pianos to beach walks, barbershop harmony, drag bingo, and a vampire-inspired rave, St. Augustine appears to be trying every possible form of entertainment before Monday finds out.
- City Celebrates Preserving Historic Homes By Making Sure No One Local Can Live In Them
Local workers, from nurses to teachers, can no longer afford to live in the city they serve, turning the historic district into a tourist-only zone, while 42,000 commuters hit the roads daily.
- St. Johns County Enters Drought Mode, Reminds Residents Growth Is Fine As Long As Nobody Waters Their Lawn
Northeast Florida is officially in Phase III extreme water shortage, meaning your carefully manicured lawn is now considered a non-essential aesthetic choice.
- St. Augustine Drivers And Pedestrians Enter Annual Debate Over Which Group Is Ruining Downtown Harder
A Facebook post about people walking in the road and drivers going the wrong way quickly became the city’s favorite sport: blaming everyone else for downtown existing.
- St. Augustine Replaces DEI With Parking: City Declares 'More Spots' Is The New 'More Inclusion'
In a bold move for civic identity, St. Augustine finds its true north: making sure tourists can definitely park for another overpriced golf cart tour.
